Just started my Uni life, and met a lot of new friends. Everyone is nice, school is nice, everything is good. Gonna make more friends and study harder, since there is something I have to achieve. Those who say I'm kia su, well I wouldn't bare in mind, though it doesn't sound very nice.
Went for movie with course-mates, 4 of us altogether, then bumped into another 3, so 7 of us, same movie. Should be a happy day, everyday should be happy, but no, not today. There is something that has been bothering me the whole day. Sorry that my mood swing, sorry if I make you all worry, although it is just little things, but I will need time to get use to it.
The day before today, my significant others, or soul mate, since we aren't official yet, got informed that her appeal into public University was succeed. She is currently studying in another Uni, 2 months to finish her first year. After she knew she got into public University, she was indecisive, whether to enroll into public Uni. The course offered and the course taken by her is different, but she wanted a double degree. It is a good opportunity to get a degree in Public University at a cheaper price. After some discussion with her parents, she decided to take up the offer. And this means that she will be staying in the hostel provided. Since the University is not far, she will be back on every weekend. I thought I would be okay, I supported her decision, I still support her decision.
But today, I feel really down, because she enrolled in the new University. Previously, when she was in her previous university, it is already very difficult for us to meet up, let alone lunch date, movie date. Just recently, after I get my schedule for my course, I found out that I'm free on Wednesday, and I can guide her, let her drive to school on that particular day every week, and have lunch break together. But no more, there will be no more lunch break. I don't own a car, it is impossible for me to go visit her on weekdays, even though I don't have class. So what's left will just be weekends jogging session. But since she only goes back once a week, she has to allocate more time for her parents.
Last time, there will be chances that when she has no class, we sneak out and go on a movie, go for lunch, or just walk around. But now, there will be no more sneaking out. There will be no more dating, in the near future. Sigh.. And this keeps bringing me down today. I don't want to let her know how I feel now, because I don't want my emotion to affect her decision. As long as her decision is good, I will support her, stand by her side. I'm sorry, we promised to open up, but I don't want to burden you with my emotion, I'm sorry.
I will have to get use to it, have to get along with it, have to live life that she is far away, though it is not that far, but to me, the impact of the changes is very very big. The more you care, the bigger the impact. It can't be helped. But don't worry, all I need is just time. We will surely able to continue and walk this through without problem, and get through everything. Have fun in new university, new environment, new friends. Take good care of yourself, I won't be able to watch over you anymore in the near future. Don't make me worry, that's all I ask for. All the best, stay happy. *hugss*
♥Lmw'
