Life ♥

Why? Why an emo boy has to have so much love on someone? Why? Why an emo boy has to be so sad? I think everyone think I'm having fun in this vacation, but it is not. I ain't happy. It is like, my life is different now, I can't accustom to it. Sigh, my problem? Emo ♥

Today I got a weird dream, well, why is it about you, Ee Wen :/
Well, not weird, but kinda unbelievable. Anyway, skip everything.
Went shopping today, nothing special, end of the day, FULL STOP

Okay, let's talk about what is in my heart. Anyway, I don't think anyone will view my blog :')
*Foreveralone*

Vivian Choe, do you even remember my blog link? Who was I in your heart? Who am I in your heart? Do you even wanted to know how am I? What you want? You didn't remove me as friend, and why? Sigh, why... You asked me to get away from you, do you think I can do that? Do you think I'm that strong? Do you ever love me for a second? Now, I will never get these answer. I always asked you to think positively, but I can't do it myself. How stupid. How miserable. Sigh... Now, I can only hope you are happy everyday, and all the best to you. After all, your life function as usual with or without me. *Foreveralone* :''D

You are the only girl that will never hates me, never fail to make me smile. Even you ask me to do something, I'm happy to help you. Love? I don't know, maybe. Lol. I don't wanted to love you, cause if I did, everything might change. The one I love, I will never get, so I don't wanted to love you, just let me stay like this kay? Stay myself :''D

To tell the truth, I really wanted to have a long long chat with you. But I seems annoying to you, tell me, am I annoying? Well, I think I won't disturb you anymore, I will still stalk you. That's what you said I did, ahaha. Find me when you need me, find me whenever you want, I will never leave anyone alone. Cause I know that, the feeling being alone, the feeling when the people you love abandon you, when the people you like ignore you, when the people you wanted to friend walk away from you :''D

Friendzone, it is better than Strangerzone. I will never think too much again. I think I won't update my blog, until I'm back to myself. So bye bloggie, take care yourself, you have some companions, you don't need to be alone, not like me :')

♥Lmw'

Couldn't get you out of my mind ♥

My head, my mind, my heart, full of you, even you are not mine, neither my girl, nor my friend... </3

Hello people ;D

Woke up 6 am, 2 pm in Malaysia, then I went toilet, then play my iPhone 4, woot ! Jail breaked with iOS 5.0.1 ! My epic dad, he is awesome ;D

Then I play my phone, till 7.30 am, 3.30 pm in Malaysia, then went shower. Will be going out later, ahaha !

So looking forward to it ;D

After that, took coach to Gloucester town, bought McDonald. I tried the Sausage Mc Muffin for the first time, it was delicious ! Like it ♥

After that took a different coach, planed to visit the Iron Mining Caves, Clearwell Caves. We went in, £6.00 each adult, well, seriously, not worth a visit :/

Lol, then went in their souvenir shoppe, guess what I saw? Some Zodiac pendant, bracelet and phone hanger ! Mine is dark blue in colour, bought one bracelet ;D

And I saw Scorpio's one, Turquoise. Hey Vivian Choe, it was your Zodiac, and you favourite colour too ! I wanted to buy one for you, but my mom nagged me, lol. Well, will bring you here for a visit, if I ever get a chance :')

Then walk back to bus stop, wait for the coach, back to Gloucester town again. Shopping is what we did, ahaha ! Bought 1 pants, cost £60.00 originally, with 20% discount. It is really expensive, well, my mom told me to buy it, cause it looks nice, still, I feel it is so expensive. I like it too, thank you mom ♥

My aunt bought her daughter and her son both a pair of shoes, nice shoes ;D 

Except for the smallest one, her taste is a bit different, so I need to show her the photo before buying her shoes :)

Then went into a place, umm, a little casino? 18+, but still, I went in, ahahaha!

Aunt played roulette, me and her, both picked 5 numbers, all together 10, and we won £20.00, that was lol. It was fun, addicted, and will probably get my pocket dry if I played :P

After few games, went back 4.30 pm, 12.30 am in Malaysia. 

Had dinner, then went back to room and watch movie.

And this is my day ;D

Looks like idiot :3

Oh yea, weather forecast says that tomorrow is having snow, so looking forward to it, Snowball fight ! Let's do it !

Just kidding xD

Vivian Choe, I don't think you will view my blog, but I will still write about you :')

Well, you are not mine, not even mine, but why I am so sad about what you did? I cried, I hurt, I .. Acted like an idiot for you ! And why? Ugh, love makes me blind ♥

I still love you, like I did last time, so good if you are single, ahh, forget it, you choose him, or I am the one who try to break you two up instead? Nah, I never thought of that. Just, he treat you bad, umm, at least I think so. Well, hopes he treat you good then, hope you for the best :) 

:')

:'(

♥Lmw'

Love it, because of you ♥

I love Mc' Flurry Oreo because of you. And now, I love it even more, because you already got away from me </3

Hello everyone, I got to London yesterday :D

14 hours in plane, really get me dying :/ I hate the moment the plane descent, my ear pain as it is going to burst :(

Already 1 day, my ear still like weird, isit broke? Lol, even if it is not functioning, doesn't matter, cause I guess I won't get a chance to hear your sound anymore.

When I reached London, probably 4.30 am Malaysia time, it was 8.30 pm in London. It was cold outside, then wait for the coach, bus we called in Malaysia, to Gloucester, the place my mom stay. 11.30 pm coach, and me and my aunt need to wait for so long, My Goshh ! Doesn't matter lol. reach my mom's place about 3.30 am, 11.30 am in Malaysia. Good morning to people in Malaysia ;D

Then chat awhile, then get to bed.

Today 11.00 am, 7.00 pm in Malaysia woke up, then go shower. After that travel to the nearest town by coach with my aunt and mom after breakfast. My dad cooked it, yumm :3

We went to a town called Cheltenham. I like the style of the buildings, so nice and classic. About the shops, it is different from Malaysia. I seldom saw cars, here is so nice, I would like to come again, with my love, and take a lot a lot of photos :3

My Love one... Ahh, forget it, I don't wanted to cry :')

Quite cold outside, bought a belt and a shirt. Aunt bought some souvenir for her daughter, and 2 pairs of slippers, cute one, I like it a lot :3

Then walk around, saw many nice scene, but didn't ask my aunt to take photo for me, so we just walk walk walk. If Shermin was there, sure we will take a lot a lot of photos, let's come together next time, if your mom allow LOL xD

Mom went back first, about 4 pm, 12 am in Malaysia. She need to get back to work. So byehh mom, see ya later ;D

After that, me and my aunt walk walk, then go sit in a cafeteria for awhile, drank a cut of hot chocolate. Yumm, and after few seconds, I noticed that, I have not yet take photo, Oh My Gosh !

Ahh well, took photo of the pain croissant, well baked, taste good, yumm :3

After that, went back by coach again. Need to walk quite a distance until we get back to our place, it is freezing cold outside, only about 5 pm, 1 am in Malaysia, the sky started to turn darker and darker. I hope I can see snow these days. Ahaha. Then went back, ate, then online.

Zhao said she felt disappointed cause I can't meet her. To tell the truth, me too. Mom say next 2 years, I'm still small now, under 18 LOL. I think I might get a chance, just need to talk to my mom. I will try my best kay? No worry ;)

It is 7.50 pm here atm, and 3.50 am in Malaysia, so good night people in Malaysia ♥

So I will update my blog when my parents is not around, I don't wanna let them know it, my secret, wakaka ! 

So byehh bloggie ;D

♥Lmw'

No fate ♥

I have no fate with the girl I love, so is that means that I have to choose a girl I don't love, and try to love her?

Today open house, took a lot angpau. Ahaha, then nothing special also.
I really really hope I can get your reply, or your text, or fb message, but I always feel disappointed :(
Maybe you are busy? Or maybe, I ain't a nice people? I don't know. Sigh..

Vivian Choe, I got something to tell you. Well, I don't think you will view my blog after all. I know, you hate me, you love him, so I wish you live happily with him :)
I don't think I will have the courage to text you, cause I scare you will say 'Don't ever find me again !' or 'Get away from me !'. These words, will make me cry.
Sigh.. Anyway, find me when you wanted to, cause I will always reply you, always wait for you, always...... Wait, I don't think I got the right to say these things. I still love you :')

♥Lmw'

A world without you ♥

Without you, I can still live, without me, you can still live.
Without you, I can't be happy a day. Without me, how are you?
Hope you are better without me :')
Ahh, you have got your boy, to care you, I'm the third party, I forgot that, ahh well, it always end this way, so just let it be. Tell myself, I will still live without you, I won't die, I won't get cancer, only my deep heart will be wounded, small matter :')

Went to cinema today, and wtf, in the movie I watched, there was a girl named Vivian. And when someone romantic happened between Vivian and another boy(the third party), I cried :'(
Then 1 more scene, I cried until like everyone know, lol, funny la me.

Oh yea, Ee Wen, I thought you wouldn't wanted to friend me anymore, I really very worry, and I thought 'I'm on my own again'. Sigh. Well, make it positive, maybe you are busy, or doing something. Yea, make it like that :)
Gotta sleep now, tomorrow gonna wake up early, so bye bloggie :)

♥Lmw'

Back From Drunk ♥

Yesterday drink beer till drunk, so didn't update my blog. Just woke up, 7.00am, and everything still fresh in my mind. It is like a dream, I hope it is a dream of course. No matter how sad I am, I need to move on right? Cause I know it, if I don't, you still will move on without caring me. Sorry, I don't know that you love him so much, I don't know that he love you so much, and I don't know that you love each other so much. I know, the friendship between us are ended, your last text, I will remember it, forever. And you, I will slowly forget, but still will keep you in my mind, in a corner. You are too good for me, sometimes, I realise I didn't suit you at all. So I don't understand you at all right? Second time, I ever cried for a girl, but I will bless you with my tears, always stay happy :,)

I bet you will unfriend me once you got the chance to get online. I'm ready of course. I used to be one of your besties, and now, I'm your no one, I'm your nobody. Ugh, why am I still so sad? Beer didn't work at all, it just let me temporarily be happy. Blue skies above, how are you? Of course you don't feel good. It's all my fault, I will do anything for you, other than disappear from the world. Reason? Cause I don't wanted to go to a world without you. :,) 

I gave you my heart, once, and I'm glad, I got a chance to give you :,)

Once, my story is full of you, and from now, I think I need to stop writing about you, but I will hope the best for you :,)

Chinese New Year, I think I need to accustom the days without you. 

Ee Wen, thx for controlling me yesterday, if not I will keep drinking none stop, haha. Wish the best for you and him too :)

I don't know how will I live my life now, how I should go on, where I shall go, but I need to move on, that's what I know :) and also the only thing I can do :,(

♥Lmw'

Last message from you ♥

Drunk. Wont post a lot, so bye all, hope everyone is happy, hope you will live better without me :,)

♥Lmw'

An unknown question ♥

藕念你，为啥你有如此能力，能让我那么不开心？
I miss eu, why do you have the power to make me unhappy?

First day of Chinese New Year, wake up, go bath, then wear new clothes, ahaha !
No red clothes, so gonna wear a pink one. Hmm, close enough to red, I guess.
Ate breakfast, then get some angpau, then Gerald, Kenneth, Yvoone, Nicholas, Jasmine and me went up to room and chit-chat. Then they wanted to chat with cousin that stay in US, so I went gambler. I won !! Rm1, still, it is a WON, and I'm happy with it xD
Then after that, went mcd, Jasmine fetch us. I sit at the back, in a Kenari, LOL.
After mcd, went carrefour, cause we have nothing to do. Play there, although there got nothing much to play.
Then about 7pm, we reach home. After that, watch movie in my comp. 那些年我们一起追的女孩, damn touching larh :,(
Maggie as dinner, Happy Chinese New Year maggie =D

Chat with Ee Wen, cause I feel down. Thanks a lot, you made me feel a lot better =)
Now I don't need beer to sleep, it is a good thing. Haha. Anyway, boring day I have =/
Hope tomorrow will be better =)

♥Lmw'

Happy Chinese New Year? Maybe~

Happy Chinese New Year everyone =)
Hope you all are happy =)

For me, just Chinese New Year. Should I be happy? Why am I not happy? I'm more like emo, sad, and of course, I think a lot. Maybe beer can help me? Drunk, forget everything, let it be a Happy Chinese New Year :')

想要找一个在乎你的伴侣，真难。往往，我觉得你就是我的她，但有时，你真的对我太冷落了。这是你，还是害怕爱情了？这是我，还是别人？总没有自己的感觉。我说我醉了，但其实，我并没有醉，醉了的话不可信吧？算了，就借酒消愁去吧。如果那个男人是我，那该多好啊。算了吧，我真希望我是你的男人，可惜，我感觉不到你的爱意，又感觉不到你讨厌我，那到底是什么呢？算了吧，就自己一个人，想个够好了:,)

只有爱你的人，才不会想你受伤害，才会无论如何都要保护你，才会无论如何都要逗你笑，才会因为你吃不下而感到担忧，才会因为你伤害自己而感到生气，才会不顾一切的付出。。。就只希望对方能过得快乐。我也很想有人爱，了解，体谅。谁叫我长这个样子，命 :,)

♥Lmw'

If someone grant me a wish ♥

If someone will grant me a wish, I hope that ......... =)

Why I don't tell? Cause rumor say that 'If your wish is told, it won't be granted', so don't ask me, only for Vivian Choe, I will only tell you ♥

Today, unlike the other days, today is a busy day, really really busy. As Chinese New Year is around the corner, we need to clean up the house. Everyone are involved, move this and that, mop this and that, clean this and that. So I skip everything =)

At night went Giant, or Carrefor? I can't differentiate it lol. Nvm, something happened, we lost grandpa, OMG !

Luckily Giant, or Carrefor are not too big, so we manage to find him, lucky LOL. 

Nvm, went home, clean again, tomorrow still need to clean outside, ugh~ 

Need to wake up early tomorrow, go take stuff with aunt, 7am, damn it, thought I can sleep late a bit >.< 

Well, since I have to wake early tomorrow, today I will sleep a bit earlier, so bye bloggie =)

Ee Wen, I viewed your blog, as usual. Don't know do you have the chance to see this, but I think you will see it after 3/4 days. Still, I gonna tell you, you made me cried :') What you write, too touching, really, can't resist. Bet your keyboard is all wet after you write that post. I really really hope that he will come back to you. Cheer up, I will pray everyday, hope you and him get back together, I wanted to see your blog with happy things. 

So, WJY ! If you ever see this, go see her blog, go see what is on her mind, go see how much she love you, go feel her love, go, hold her, and don't ever let go !

♥Lmw'

Where are you? Miserable ♥

Vivian Choe ! I miss you a lot ! I feel like crying, I wanted to see you, I wanted you, I didn't receive your text the whole day, you know how worry I am? Luckily your sister get online, if not, I really don't know who should I ask, I really really worry about you. Now I know you are okay, I feel more relief, and I also feel like crying, don't make me so worry larh :,(

Today woke at 11am, then go online, as usual. Actually today I thought can go Chatime with Shermin, then I wait, wait, wait, then she back le, and I was so happy. Then I asked her 'hey, wan go chatime?' Then she said 'Went back'. So bad larh ! Leave me alone =( Owe me 1 Chatime I tell you =P

Chat with Ee Wen, from 12pm till night, except the time she went tuition. Haha, she don't know how to pronouns my name, bet no one will pronouns it right also xD
She always say she is okay, well, I really hope she is okay, but I don't think she is really okay. Only you can walk yourself, as friend, we can only pull you up when you fall. So cheer =)

Midnight that time skype with Zhao, me and Shermin, then me and Zhao play tetris battle, she rank so high, so is a big advantage for me, wahaha(those who played tetris battle will know) !
Then Shermin wanted to ply, let her play lu, she is like so slow, Zhao waited for her LOL. Then she keep laughing, don't know she laugh what, then I saw her laugh, I also laugh, then she saw me laugh, she laugh more, in the end, both of us laugh uncontrollable xD

Vivian Choe:
          I bet you already long time didn't view my blog. Know why? Cause you always forgot. Haha, I hope you saw my posts for you. I don't dare to say I love you too much to you, cause I scare you will feel annoying. But I know that you know that I love you, action speaks more than words, I will prove it. I will hold you tight, don't scream that time. Maybe my hand are rough, not nice to touch, but I believe that I can give you the warm that no one could give, Love you ♥

♥Lmw'

Ms. Rain ♥

Aww, sweet one, rain again, at 3.36am. I like it ♥
How are you? Hope you are okay. Listen to the rain, hear the rain speaks, and it will comfort you, really, try it =)

Today saw Shermin come back, then say hi to her. Nothing much. Lazy larh her, sleep sleep sleep. Don't let her see this, or I will get killed lol, kidding, she is sweet, she won't do that ♥
Went jogging with Sook Mun, actually, I really DID wanted to go jogging, just around the park, but then, I am going to top up, and then... I end up going to Chatime, so no jogging LOL.
Bought 2 cups, 1 for Sook Mun, and 1, for Shermin. She always wanted to drink it, so bought it for her =)

Viewed Ee Wen's blog, and chat with her a bit. Actually, I don't really know, should you give up on him or not, it depends on yourself. Like I said before, if he worth your tears, then stay for him. Well, to tell the truth, my brain was saying 'What an idiot, accept the reality!.. blablabla'. But my heart was saying to the brain 'Have you got any feelings? Don't say a thing if you don't know the pain, and you aren't the one to get the pain!'. Hmm, now I'm idiot one, speaking to myself? Haha. Okay, here is the thing I wanna tell you, don't ever say that he will not love you anymore, no one knows what will happen in the future, so don't give up so easily, if you love him so much, eventually, he will know it, he will feel touch, he will love you back, with his heart. Imagine, when he open up your heart, and there is nothing but him inside, he will cry like a baby I believe. Hope, it might not come true, but there is still chances, then why give up? Believe in yourself, try until the last minute, never give up =)

Mom just asked me, am I sure that what to study? And say a lot. Made me totally lost my way T.T
Oh, my angel helped me out, thx Vivian Choe, you help me clear up my mind, and my target is clear now ♥
I would like to give you a kiss on your cheek, if you don't refuse it =D
I still remember that day, you hold your hand with your friend, and I was thinking 'If only I have the courage to hold you'. I was too timid, but if I did, I will never let go ♥
I will do it, definitely do it ! I don't wanted to be friendzoned forever. I wanted to be the one that make you feel warm, make you happy, make you smile, make you laugh, and make you love me ♥
I hope everyday, I could say I love you, and you will say 'I love you' back, I hope when I said something caring and romantic, you won't say 'Lol. Speechless' ♥

That's all for today, and the rain almost stop, 4.06am.

Oh, and forgot something, thx for introducing all the songs to me Ee Wen =) *hugs the songs*

♥Lmw'

Wish came ♥

Wow, can't believe it, yesterday after I finished my post, rain really came, I was so happy =D
How was everyone then? I know it make you miss him more, I felt the same last time, but time will past, and slowly rain will wash away every pain, and left you a lovely spring =)

Okay, an ordinary day too. But something still in my mind, make me unhappy. I ain't someone that easily get unhappy, but your words really hurt, really really hurt me </3
I won't mention who you are, but what I will say is 2 things. Firstly, when you ask someone a favour, please pay attention too. Secondly, treat me as one of your family member, your words hurt me a lot you know? I thought finally, I got a family, although it isn't my real family, but it makes me feel warm enough. I love this home, I wanted to be part of it, I treat you as my sister, so treat me as your brother as well okay?
Wanna know what she said? Not gonna tell here, ask me personally, I might tell you =)

Can't stop playing the songs, thx to Ee Wen, you make me hug my comp even when I sleep, hahaha !
Idk how are you now, but I wish the best, you will get better, and don't say you are an emo girl, you can be really cheerful, sweet, and if you ask me why? Cause you look so =D

Rain, when you gonna come again? Now I wish it will be in the afternoon, or evening, when sun is still here, cause I wanted to see rainbow. To tell the truth, I have not see rainbow for years, I miss you too Mr. Rainbow, Ms. Rain, please come when Uncle Sun is still around kay? ;)

Me and my lovely cousin sister ;D

Aunt said in the future, we would like each other and be couple lol.
Nahh, it won't happen, you are my lovely sister ♥
And the one I wanted, I will chase you, no matter where you go. You smile, I smile with you; you cry, I hug you tight; you fall, I carry you on the rest of the journey; and if you love me, I will love you more, Vivian Choe ♥
Next time, I will take picture with you, and post it everywhere, facebook, blog, thumblr(I will create one lol)
and even print out, put in my wallet ♥
Haha, say like as we already couple, ahh well, just wanna tell you, I won't give up on you ! ♥

♥Lmw'

Your sound, your smell, your temperature, I want it ♥ Rain ♥

I miss you so much, when are you gonna come? =(

I miss your smell, I miss your sound, I miss you, rain =(

I hope you will come soon. Why I like rain so much? Doesn't it make you feel relief especially during midnight? Well, I do feel that, I like it a lot, best season ever =)

Okay, today also, an ordinary day. Me and Shermin planned to go Chatime before she tuition, and I am so looking forward to it =D

But, when Sook Mun back to home, she asked us to company her to buy candies, so we followed, by walk. That time was 5pm, and we planned to go Chatime at 5:40pm, but after we reached home after buying candies, it was already 6pm, so FAIL lol. 

Anyway, Shermin's tuition starts at 7pm, so she took a shower, then 6:45pm go tuition. And for me, I have to follow her as I need to go get my hair cut, it is near Shermin's tuition place. Haha, first time got my hair wash outside, my first time given to a 19 years old girl, LOL. Don't misunderstand it =P

After I got my hair cut, it is only 7:45pm, still 45 minute until Shermin finishes her tuition. So, I spend my time in Chatime. Hazelnut Chocolate Milk Tea ! Damn nice ! I gonna eat you more and more ! Ahahaha!

Then skip skip skip back home skip skip skip, skip everything =P

Oh yea, view Ee Wen's blog again, actually I did it everyday. Hope you will get better soon =)

Well, actually I don't think you should wait him, but if that will make you feel better, then I can't stop you. It will be difficult to put down, but one day, you will realise that why you waste your time on a man like that. Sorry, I am kind of rude. I don't know anything, so I can't say too much about you and him, but I just hope to see your blog post more joyful things, and your blog song, you said it is like you right? It is not an emo song, it is a sweet one, remember that =)

That's all for today I guesse, so bye bloggieeee =)

♥Lmw'

Another ordinary day♥

Today morning, wake up late, as usual, about 12 am. Then text Vivian, I know she is still in school, so she didnt reply.
But until 6pm, she still haven't reply me, and I started to get worry, where have you been =(
And 7pm something, got your reply, so you are rush that's why forgot to take your phone huh? Glad to know you are okay ♥ =,)
Oh yea, skiped something, let's get back to 1pm, I saw Ee Wen's reply, oh thx god she did not say something like 'Non of your business!' If not, that will be an really awkward moment lol. Btw, nice to meet you, my first new friend in 2012 =D
So we chat chat chat, then nothing le, just an ordinary day.
Oh yea, the pictas I promised, here it is, tadaa:

Cute right? =D
The bottom right one, I edited it >.<
And the top right one, Sook Mun edited it, she made me a mouse, ishh, cute anyway =D

Oh yea, and thx to Ee Wen, recommended a lot of nice music to me, thx alot, hope you get better soon =)
That's all for today, bye bloggie *Listening to piano's music+the sound of rain, damn nice, relaxing* =)

♥Lmw'