Let it go naturally, don't need to put any effort, but if there is no effort, the likelihood of it to come true will be even lesser. Or is it I work too hard? Sigh, there are always things I don't understand. I'm insensitive. I think you feel the same, but is it really how I think? Deep inside you, do you thought the same also? Sigh, is it the same thing gonna happen once again? I'm certainly giving pressure... How can I learn to care less, but not totally ignore it? I wanted love not to be my first priority in my life. There are so many things out there, and love is at least 80% to me. Stupid huh. But this is me, I don't think this part of me will change soon. Maybe in 5 years, I won't see love as my priority again? Who knows. Seriously, they say 'love need courage', yea, you need a lot of courage to love, to endure the pain, to accept failure, and finally, to give everything without wishing anything in return. What is love, and why we need love? Why I will feel sad often because of love? I still don't get it, love... I told you that I'll stay happy, won't think too much, won't expect too much, but, I think I failed, I'm sorry. Maybe in few weeks, I'll get use to this situation. Maybe... It's always me that think too much, I wonder what my brain is made of, full of imaginations, false hopes, wrong assumption, idiot... It's really not easy to find a lifetime partner. All I wanna do is love right. Let it go naturally, don't need to put any effort, in the end, it will slip away, you can't just let it go naturally if you cared you know. It doesn't work that way. It's like baking cookies, you need to prepare a good dough from good flour, egg, and everything. Maybe add some chocolate chips if you like chocolate, some raisins, some cinnamon, just kidding, cinnamon doesn't goes with everything. After that, a shape that you desire. And now, most importantly, the duration and the temperature. You can't bake too long, or too short in time, you can't use too high, or too low in temperature, it must be exactly the right temperature and duration in order to come out with an excellent cookie and finally, you get to enjoy. You don't let it go naturally, you put enough amount of effort, not too much, not too less. It's not easy, but I just don't want to stop trying. I would give my everything. Making a good dough, baking a good cookie without a recipe is extremely hard, but that won't stop me from trying. I fail, I will try again, and again, until I out of ingredients, and I'll get some in the market, until I'm out of cash. I don't wanna let it go naturally, but I would try to put less effort than previous, I don't wanna ruin this friendship. I want it to blossom into love, someday in the future, I want to see it blossom...
♥Lmw'
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