The Complicated Feelings ♥

Hey bloggie, sorry, been too lazy to update you :3

Gonna talk about all my feelings in the past few days.
Whenever I texted with my ex-crush, I have some weird feelings. I can't identify it. I took a lot of times, to try to figure it, but still, I failed.
Someone told me: 'it is just some complicated feelings you had towards her, cause she was your crush before. As long as you know who you love right now, it is fine'
Well, yeah, she isn't the one in my mind. It is just some old time feelings. After all, I treated her as my besties. Although I don't love you like last time, but whenever you need someone to talk to, someone to be your listener, I'll be there for you, as a friend :)
Anyway, you won't fall for me even though what I do. If you will, you already did :P

I can't remember, how much I loved you, how much I cared about you, how much tears I drop because of you, how much pain I cost myself loving you, how a fool I am to fall for you, how my heart broke because of you... All of this, I can't remember, but I will never forget.
Thank you, for breaking my heart, tearing me apart. If it isn't you, I won't grow up. Seriously, people just need someone to hurt them badly only they will realise on their own.
Now, there are something in my head spinning around, some questions. All my love, my efforts, do you received it? Do you realised how deep it is? Do you even know how my heart scatter into pieces because of you?!
If you ask me, do I hate you, my answer is: No, never once.
I pull myself away, because I loved you too much, and I know if I keep going, there won't be an ending. After all I'm not that guy you wanted, after all I just can't make you loved me back, after all, I'm just your besties..
But it doesn't sounds that bad. At least, I know that someone would need me when they are unhappy, someone would wanted me to be a listener. I'm so glad and happy to help you out.
'Stay alive, keep going, live your life, proud glowing.' - Simple words especially for you :)
In case you don't know I'm talking about you: Vivian Choe ♥

So now, it is about another thingy, something lovely.
'Heart is broken when words leave unspoken.' - Edwin Hew
He told me this, and that's how I'm feeling right now. I wanted to let her know, but, it is not time yet. I must control myself. If I really love her, I can wait, wait until we understand each other more, until we can read each other's mind, and until the day I'm the Special One to her.
How I wish that she knows all of these. How I wish that she is also thinking about me.
I got a bad habit recently. When I have nothing to do, I will think of her, and just smile, like an idiot. But I enjoy doing it.
Hey girl, umm, do you know that, there is a guy over here, that place your photo on a dart board, and throw it everyday, yet he misses all his shoot, how dumb, but he is smiling, he is happy, he is crying... He miss you so much, that sometimes, he just look at your photo, and recall the days he spent with you, the things he did with you, the way he made you laugh, the strength he used when knocked your head, the emotion when you got a surprise from him...
But, he don't care how much it hurts to wait, it worth it, it totally worth it, cause the joy he got, far exceed the pain he gets, it is the tears of happiness :')

That's all for my feelings. Been too lazy to study these days, must do some revision ! MOTIVATION ! Come !
But I will never forget to do one thing. Opps, I miss again ♥

♥Lmw'